


you and me and both of them

by undernightlight



Series: Gays in Space [40]
Category: Red Dwarf (UK TV)
Genre: Dialogue Heavy, Episode: s04e05 Dimension Jump, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-03
Updated: 2021-02-03
Packaged: 2021-03-14 06:54:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 824
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29166783
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/undernightlight/pseuds/undernightlight
Summary: Ace and Rimmer have a talk before they get Starbug back in the air.
Relationships: Dave Lister/Arnold Rimmer, Spanners Lister/Ace Rimmer
Series: Gays in Space [40]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/951465
Kudos: 17





	you and me and both of them

The moment Ace Rimmer had stepped aboard Starbug, everyone was smitten with him, and Rimmer couldn’t stand it. Everything about Ace Rimmer drove him up the wall. That stupid hair and that stupid suit and those stupid sunglasses. His stupid self confidence and charm and easy-going nature; it was disgusting, and it wasn’t fair.

He had been, rather contently, hiding from that pompous prick in the bunkroom. When the door opened, he didn’t make an attempt to move. When he saw the shiny trousers, he tried to sink further back against the bulkhead.

“Ah, there you are Arnie, we were wondering where you’d gotten off to.”

Rimmer didn’t comment on the fact that ‘we’ was incorrect because Lister, Kryten and the Cat definitely didn’t care where he was, they never did as long as it was away from them, or on the fact that Ace clearly despite him too.

“What is it you want exactly?” He asked, hoping to cut any communication down to a minimum.

“I just wanted to have a quick chat before we got your ship back up and flying again.” Ace perched himself against the table's edge. Rimmer didn’t say anything, just kept staring him down, not that it was doing much. “It’s about Lister. I really think you should tell him how you feel.”

Rimmer nearly choked. On what he wasn’t sure, but he would’ve rather choked and died - again! - then have to continue this conversation. “W-what?” Because that was convincing. He could feel the heat rise in his face, his nostrils flaring and brows furrowing, and he dropped his eyes to the floor.

“You have feelings for him.”

“I don’t have feelings for him, you imbecile.”

“Now don’t be like that, I see the way you look at him. I’m not blind you know.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Yes you do. It’s time to be honest with yourself Arnie old pal, and then you should tell him.”

After a pause, he replied, “And what would be the point in that?”, his voice dropping in volume and tone.

“Because maybe then you’d have a chance at being happy.” He dared a look up, and Ace was surprisingly sincere with his expression. “I’ll tell you something,” Ace continued. “From my dimension, there’s a guy named Spanners. He’s my universe’s Dave Lister, a brilliant engineer with a cracking smile. Me and him, well I’m sure you can see where this is going. On and off, but whenever it was on, it was good, but coming here, dimension jumping, well it’s permanently off now let’s say that.

“Finding you was surprising enough, but finding you with a version of Spanners, that’s hard to ignore. Maybe things are meant to work out with you two in a way it couldn’t for me and him.”

“Really? You’re basing all this on your relationship with your Lister? As I’m sure you’ve noticed by now, I am not you, and Lister is not ‘Spanners.’”

“No, but you’re still Arnold Rimmer and he’s still David Lister.”

Rimmer rolled his eyes and huffed. “Astounding observation. I can see how you made commander test pilot.”

“Now don’t be like that. Take my advice or don’t, it doesn’t affect me, but I find it pretty sad seeing myself looking like you. Skipper holds a lot more for you than I think you realise, but you’ll never know until you try.”

Curiosity won out, and Rimmer couldn’t help but ask. “Is that how it was with you and Spanners?”

“Not quite. Things with me and Spanners was a slow going affair, smile and hugs eventually becoming something a lot more. We tried the relationship thing properly, but it didn’t quite work; I was away too much, in too much danger too often, and it wasn’t good for poor Spanners. We still had a casual thing, and we’d still have dinner in his quarters fairly regularly, but it was never stable, not like how you could have it.”

Rimmer sighed, rather more defeated than he intended to - how had his anger dissipated so quickly? “I think you’re confusing your Spanners with my Lister,” and he hated how nice it was to say ‘my Lister’. “Lister harbours no such feelings.”

“How do you know?”

“Because he hates me.”

“Don’t you hate him?”

“Yes.”

“But you also like him?”

“...that proves nothing.”

Ace stood, struggling lightly. “If I told you I saw the way he looks at you, would that change your mind?” Rimmer stared blankly, and Ace just chuckled. “You’re both so oblivious to each other it’s hopeless really, but maybe it’s not if you use your head.” Ace headed for the door, then stopped. “Talk to him. Wait until I’m gone and talk to him. We’ll be getting your ship back in the air shortly, you should come help us out,” and then he was gone.

Rimmer sat there, thinking. Ace Rimmer, as he had suspected, was an idiot.

**Author's Note:**

> love an ace/spanners


End file.
